The “Haters” hiding within your social media network

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I love social media as much as the other millions of people around the world who spend hours on the web catching up with old friends and family members. In fact, social media has been an amazing tool for me to find old friends, classmates and military battle buddies that are now living all over the globe.

The Good and the Bad of social media networks
I truly enjoy staying connected with old friends. Seeing their family, how they have grown older, their success, their children’s photos and their social interest. It’s like having a conversation through the internet without being able to chat face to face. What makes it an even stronger tool, is the fact you can take this unbelievable technology with you everywhere with your smart phone. What a technological breakthrough?

However, with all great things, there’s always negative usage that comes along with it. Meaning, as much as I love this tool, it also allows the front door of my life to be open for individuals to secretly “hate” on your dreams, positive attitude, goals/aspirations and positive outlook for your future. Don’t get me wrong, social media is great for someone like myself who has traveled the world and have met a lot of people who I will never get the chance to have a face to face conversation again. But every now and then, you will find a friend, family member or colleague who use the“Social Media Wall” to avoid confrontation while send cryptic messages of hate about every thing you are doing.

That is exactly how haters get in to your life without being detected. The social media is great for all the right reasons, but bad for people who want a drama free or hater free life. Hating on your good fortune has even taken off in the form of smart phone applications. Yes, there are apps that allow you to pull something from a Facebook friend, place it in the application so you can openly hate on it anonymously. Talking about being a hater? That is a real hater profile.

Be aware, the Haters are everywhere you allow them access
We all know that social media is not the place to display your dirty laundry, but it is a forum to express yourself of positive and negative items in your life you elect to share with your friends. What I love most is the responses (good or bad) on any post. If you have experienced a great sale in your business, you can always count on your faithful social media friends to cheer you on with a simple “like”. If you had a relationship challenge with a boy or girlfriend, there is always your social media friends to cheer you up and provide you positive statement of encouragement to get you through. It’s also a great debating forum for intellectual conversations such as politics, race, domestic & international policy, military updates, and of course; sports. What better place to have a friendly trash talk session with your friends than Facebook during Duke Carolina week? Its awesome! Trash talk can get out of hand from time to time, but you are engaging in friendly competitive debate that is consistent with any face to face conversation.

But beware! Haters will always be haters. They’re lurking on your post, then leave to the confines of their own network and writing about how they “hate fake people”, “tired of others living a lie”, “hate how you claim to be a Carolina fan but you are actually a Virginia fan”, “can’t stand you because you want everyone to think you are successful and your not”, or “tired of hearing about your children’s success”.

These are so-called friends and family members who are bashing your comments, privately messaging other haters with information they are gathering from your social media sites. They friend you, then de-friend you during their times of hate. It’s easy to catch if you’re looking closely. They creep on your site to see what you are talking about, then run back to their private site and openly discuss your issues. These are your “so-called” friends, whom you have accepted or invited in to your social life. You must know who they are and eliminate all that hatred from your social world. Its no different than surrounding yourself with successful or positive people. If your social media network is filled with hate, envy, jealousy or gossip, it brings that negative spirit to your world. Its a bad aura and kills your chi.

Social media was not designed to eliminate haters from your life, but haters have managed to master the technique of ruining your day through social media. Choose your social media friends carefully!

The Power of Hater Gossip & Cyber Bullying within Social Media
Can you remember the last time a rumor actually damaged your ego, relationship or professional image? Imagine what would happen if one of your haters was successful in spreading a terrible rumor about you through social media? If you don’t think it hasn’t already happened to you, then you are clueless. Its happened, without your knowledge.

Social media users must realize that you “are” your social media brand. If you have been affected by cyber bullying or social media hater rage, then you have probably been devastated by the attacks. They often leave emotional scars within children and a sense of worthlessness in other adults. Haters can leave a trail of victims without even leaving a trace of their existence. Their anonymity can spread negative information about you and your brand within seconds of your post.

Imagine you have just posted something about your relationships and one of your social media haters couldn’t wait to spread the word. They now have millions of gossip options to discus your personal challenge and sabotage your brand. Yes, millions of gossip options at their disposal and all they have to do is type behind a keyboard. Now your trust has been violated and you didn’t even know it was a social media friend.

We all have them, don’t think that you are different
If you think you don’t have haters in your life, you are wrong. We all have them. The question is, how do we eliminate them from our social media? Easy, just select “carefully” who you accept in to your life. Remember, you are sharing photos, family information, children information and other personal events that you want to share with trustworthy friends. Please take a note; not all of your social media friends are your true friends.

We have all participated at some level
It’s easy to get caught up in the emotional moment using social media. Emotions run high when you see a post and think you are being called out. In other instances, your emotions allow you to post a quick statement about your dislike from a comment, you think someone is mentioning you secretly and then you lash out. If you haven’t done at least one of these before, then I commend you. You are one of the few in this world who has not taken advantage of the social media vail of secret comments when your emotions are running high. I admit that I’ve fallen victim to this before which revealed how easy it is to hate on someone you have elected to become a social “friend”.

However, letting your emotion get out of hand from time to time and spending all of your energy posting negative or hateful anonymous comments is another. Haters are, who they are, and you can’t change them. It’s more than an emotional outburst. It’s a mental characteristic about them that has been suppressed during face to face confrontation and released under the secrecy of social media. They focus on negativity, hate and gossip. How can I identify them? You have to be real savvy and know the signs.

Here is how to identify your social media haters

  • Haters spend all of their spare time waiting on failures for gossip.
  • They take a short drama free comment and escalate it. They are eager to post a response in code. They are the best code writers on the planet.
  • Many are compulsive liars who will say anything to damage your brand.
  • Haters will block your post, make a comment about you to their personal media network, then unblock you so you can’t keep an eye on what you are doing.
  • Damage your image privately through gossip
  • They decrease your productivity with their negativity.
  • They hide behind other social media accounts in which they can openly discus their dislike about you (without using your name)
  • They are friendly with you just to get the scoop, see what you are talking about so they can go and talk about you in code or private.
  • They constantly consider you a fake or phony.
  • Even though they like your positive post, they want to see you fail so they can tell their network, “I told you”.
  • They don’t want you to know how much they despise your positive attitude.
  • They think you are booshie. Meaning, because you are trying to change for the better, you talk different, you act different, you think different than you used to, you feel you are better than everyone else.
  • They want to prove that your social media attitude is an act. They will stop at nothing to prove that you aren’t who your social media post says you are.
  • Haters are not influencers. They are detractors by trade.

I will not to fall victim to the haters anymore, nor will I use social media to even remotely make a comment about someone without using their name. I enjoy healthy non-violent debates if someone wants to engage. What I don’t like is childish drama at my young age of 43. So, to eliminate the haters, you have to eliminate using practices that “TRUE HATERS” thrive in. As of today, I am pledging to eliminate the haters from my social media network. I will no longer allow social media cowards to use my network as a feeder ground of gossip and interruption of the positive things other people appreciate about my post, comments and friendship. Instead of deleting these great social tools to stay connected with great friends and family members, I will close the door for the ones who have used negatively.

Eliminate the “haters” in your social media kingdom
I said it, Social Media Haters are “COWARDS”. These are people who would never confront you personally. That is why they thrive in social media as the platform for hate. They tend to know everything that is going on in your life, by spending time following you and everyone else connected to you. They post secret statements about you in plain view, calling you out without using your name. They seem to want your life to be as miserable as theirs seem to be. They are socially thriving, but alone inside and seeking entertainment without actually getting in to confrontational situations. These are our friends, and sadly our family as well. We invited them in to our lives and we have to eliminate them from it.

11 Steps to eliminate the haters in your social media network

  1. Go in to your social media accounts and view who is there.
  2. Eliminate anyone who isn’t actively participating in your life. Real friends will say hello from time to time.
  3. Watch how your social media friends respond to your post.
  4. If you suspect a hater in the mist, track their post back to other social media accounts. You will be surprised what you will find. “The truth will set them free”.
  5. Block or delete social media accounts you are not familiar with. If you suspect a hater, delete them.
  6. Haters will continuously bash or create chaos on your post. It’s ok to debate, but to curse, create drama or embarrass your brand is a indication of a undercover hater.
  7. Do the same thing with your Pinterest, Twitter, Google+ and LinkedIn accounts. Keep the haters out where ever they are.
  8. Stop posting personal issues that you don’t want the world to know about.
  9. If you are using Facebook, select who you want to see your post. (its an actual selection when you post. I like it a lot)
  10. Always remember that your social media is filled with people who actually don’t care too much for you nor your success.
  11. Understand that is how the world is now. We are no longer upfront and honest about what we feel. It’s easier to be desensitized through virtual venues like social media where there is no face to face interaction.

Stay Positive! Keep a Positive Attitude!

Everyone has been burned at some time through social media. Lessons learned, right? The fact that it came from a friend or family member on your social media account, is what hurts the most. We can be naive to think that someone you trust within your social world would use the same platform to betray that very trust. Welcome to 2014. Instead of blowing up, throwing in the towel of friendship or getting in to any altercation, just eliminate the hate from your social media world. It is the easiest and most liberating thing you can do.

Since deleting some accounts, I have felt so much peace. No more undercover bashing. No more coded cheap shots and no more material for their hate. The same applies when the haters can’t see whats going on in your life, they have nothing to hate on.

Don’t engage in hater protocol when you suspect a hater within your camp. Instead, use this time to find a true social media friend that will cherish your presence, enjoy your controversial post and will not judge you based on what they see in your network. It might be time to move on and this is the chance to run like hell from all of those haters you have been putting up with since the conception of social media.

Good Luck!



Author: admin
Scott Coulter is the Founder and CEO of APSi. He is a military veteran with a long history of building successful business ventures ranging from Training, Staffing, Technology and Construction.